A Letter to the Daughter I Hope I Never Have

Daughter,

I write this to you because I am scared. I am terrified of the world you will be born into. In my few years, I have learned that life is hard for everyone but more so for women. Why women? Well we have asked that question for so many years. I doubt there will ever be a satisfying answer.

I write this to you because I am mad. I am fierce. We are viewed as Man’s lesser counterpart. Weaker. Slower. Dumber. This angers me because it means we have to suffer. I have seen your grandmother shed so many tears. I am certain that her heart is broken from all the tears that have flooded her eyes. I am well on my way to a broken heart with all the disappointments, failures and betrayals I have dealt with. So many tears have fallen from my face that it hurts, Daughter.

I write this to you because the World will force you to see what I have seen, go through what I have gone through. Sure, those things eventually force you to be strong. I believe they have made me strong to a degree but I want for someone else’s daughter to be roughened by those things. Not you, Daughter. Maybe I am a coward but I know that a greater portion of your life will consist of suffering, and I do not wish that upon you. Maybe I am selfish but I know that I don’t want to experience any further anguish from seeing you suffer.

I want to protect you. The only way I can do that is by never having you.

With Love,
A Daughter

Good News or Bad News First?

Hello, Wednesday Thursday. I seriously thought it was only Wednesday. I’m not sure if that’s a good or bad thing. Tomorrow’s payday, though. That’s a good thing for sure! Stick around for a story about that here in a bit.

What I know for sure is a bad thing is not having worked out in a long while. Shameful, I know! No running since the 5k on Sunday and no p90x since I can’t remember when. It’s been around 5 days since I’ve done a p90x workout, which roughly translates into “oh man, you’re screwed.” I hate when you’re doing so good and then you fall off the wagon; it’s so difficult to climb back on. I WILL get a workout in tonight, though. I have to…my body needs it. Apparently this is what happens when you skip workouts and fall off the “workout wagon.”

This month is going to test how motivated of a person I am when it comes to my workouts. It seems like I have an extra long list of things going on this month. So busy, in fact, that I won’t get to celebrate my one year anniversary with Kyle. Sad, sad day. Kyle had a crazy, fun trip planned out and I was so looking forward to an awesome vacation but I’m going to end up having to take care of big girl responsibilities around that time. Such a bummer! I had already gotten time off from work and everything! Ok, I’m done dwelling on how sucky that is. Hopefully we can go out of town for a weekend; go watch the Cards play. Better than nothing.

So I’m ready for that pay day story. You ready?

Ok so last week, I attended 2 days of training for my job. I work for a drug testing company by the way. We test for drugs present in peoples’ systems. I always get asked if I’m trying out drugs myself or creating drugs and testing them. Nope, just good ol’ running tests on urine samples and doing breathalyzers. Anyway, we had all the higher ups in town because of the training days. I took the time to talk to one of them asking for a raise. Now, I don’t feel like I’m the world’s greatest drug tester and that I need to be given more money for the fantastic work I’m doing. Although, that’s why most people demand raises, right? Usually, anyway. My case was different. I had found out that I had been getting paid slightly less than one of my male coworkers.
These are the facts:

• Again, he’s a male
• We do the exact same thing…same title
• I got hired about a week before him
• I work a significant amount of hours compared to him
• I’m a female

Hmm…sexism, anyone? Well, what’s funny is that my coworker himself is the one that pointed out what that very scenario looked like. It’s true…it does look like it very much. It obviously wasn’t very fair at all but I wasn’t indignant about the matter in the slightest. I just knew that I had to speak up about it and bring it to someone’s attention.

I got to do just that. I feel like I got paid ten fold, though. After I talked to the regional manager, he immediately got a hold of the president of the company and explained to him my case. It was probably two hours after I talked to the manager that he pulled me aside from training to tell me what he and the president talked about. He said they agreed that I’ve been excelling in the company. They were impressed that they hadn’t heard a single complaint about me from any client or participant (as complaints and “throwing people under the bus” is very common in this touchy line of work)–only good remarks. He mentioned something about a need for people like me in other positions in the company, which I understood as possible “promotion” in the future…? We’ll see how long I last with this company  because of my schooling but that was nice to hear.

Here comes the exciting news, though! They felt I deserved a raise. Ok, good. On top of leveling me out with my coworker, they added a raise on top of that which they based on performance. Oh, wait what? I wasn’t asking for that…. On top of that, they agreed to give me back pay that would include the raise. What the f@&! Wow! Seriously?!?! It was way more than I was expecting. I wanted to hug the man but that’d be slightly awkward. I extended my hand and gave him a super grateful handshake, instead. I was so appreciative, surprised and proud of myself for speaking up.

So yes, I’m very excited for pay day tomorrow. It’s the beginning of the month. Got lots of shopping to do bills to pay already!

Hope the rest of the week goes by well for everyone! Finish strong! 

Runners’ Code

1. Harden the f@#! up
Simple.

2. Follow your feet
Your mind can be your best friend on some runs and your worst enemy on other runs. It can inject your body with confidence and determination, giving you a good run. Or it can make you believe you’re in pain and need to stop and give up or you may die. In either case, keep those feet moving–they’re getting you somewhere. Side note: if you do give up at any sign of pain or fatigue during a run, you may want to strongly consider incorporating Rule 1 in your life overall.

3. Don’t lie to yourself
Don’t pause your time when you slow down and start walking only to resume timing when you resume running. Your body knows your time, pace and effort. You’re not fooling your body with altered data but congrats on boosting your ego.  You obviously have some work to do according to Rule 1.

4. Ignore the idiots that say you shouldn’t run unless you’re being chased
They’re idiots and need to find out what Rule 1 is ASAP.

5. If you’re out running in weather that’s anything less than fair, you’re a BAMF
You know those runners who wake up in the morning and upon seeing dark, grey skies and water pouring from the sky, decide that will make for the best run ever? Yeah, those runners love a challenge and are a prime example of what Rule 1 means.

6. It doesn’t get easier, you just go faster and further
If you’re letting it get easier with shorter runs and/or slower paces, then think about working on Rule 1.

7. Work on Rule 1…literally
Strength training is important for a runner because it strengthens your muscles, making you less prone to injury and it also improves endurance and performance. Do it.

8. No playing leap frog
If you get passed, it’s not personal, just accept that the person passing you was much faster and stronger than you in that race/run/event. Don’t try to pass them up (only to be passed by again–multiple times) because you won’t be able to keep up and will just throw off your pace. Especially don’t do this if the person overtaking you is a woman. Just deal with it and refer to Rule 1.

9. Obey the rules.

Pic source